Rollins Professor of English Jill Jones describes how rooming with classic monsters can be a nightmare.
There are many classic monsters from literature and movies who would make terrible roommates. Imagine sharing a dorm with Grendel in Beowulf or that creepy girl who crawls out of the television set in The Ring.
I’ve searched throughout the ages and across the continents for creatures I thought would be particularly disturbing roommates. Here are the 10 worst monster roommates ever, though not a comprehensive list by any means; nevertheless, take heed.
This woman is so cranky. If you cross her, she will literally give you a look that will turn you to stone. And her fashion sense runs uncomfortably towards the reptilian.
Their room smells horrible and they feast on flesh. They’re gross, clumsy, and maddeningly slow. Their friends will always be clamoring at your front door.
Oh come on, he’s just creepy. He has the worst morning breath ever and no sense of personal space. And those hours…
He’s needy, has abandonment issues, and self-image problems; probably from being constructed from mismatching body parts and an abnormal criminal brain. He will ruin your wedding day.
She seems like such a nice girl, a best friend, and an ardent lover. Sadly, she is feeding off of your blood at night. You should have known this was a dysfunctional relationship when she said, “you would die for me I love you so.”
You thought your last roommate was messy?
Never, ever let this guy use your hairbrush. And you will need more than a Swiffer to clean up after him. Only The Blob is a messier roommate.
(Don’t question his monster status. He calls himself a monster repeatedly, both as a literary figure and an HBO character.)
The up side is he’s very neat. But he uses up the entire Saran wrap; and where have all the good knives gone?
He’s all right when he’s not on the sauce, but you really never know when he’ll fall off the wagon—and then he’s a nightmare.
This is a roommate who really disturbs your sleep. Never sign a lease with somebody who accessorizes with razors.
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